ahh yoga~

ahh yoga, so many times i have come to you for refuge, from my nervous energy and runaway thoughts, from unpleasant emotions....sometimes i find you in my living room, breaking the ashtanga rules by blasting a kick-a** playlist to a kino macgregor dvd, but how i love to come to you in a studio, led by a teacher, full of love and wanting to give it to the class~ surrounded by others, full of love too~ or working toward it~ it is an energy, i can feel it, yes, like when i used to go to church and i felt the spirit of god moving as we sang and danced and praised and worshiped., (until of course i stopped going to church,...because all the ones i loved there began to judge me for doing yoga, they told me i had to stop, that it was evil and i was forsaking their god by ‘practicing eastern religion’,,,,as if the these people who called themselves christians owned god...but that is another story!)...yes i feel the energy of love, perhaps because i am sensitive...or super-sensitive or too sensitive...so sensitive that if there is not love there, i feel that too. i have found over the years that many people, like myself come to yoga for healing. to heal the pain we hold somewhere inside us, in our body, our mind, maybe even in the cloud of energy that surrounds us. so what do we do when we encounter this within our beloved community? anger, gossip, cold, hard energy that hits me like a punch in the stomach? it is easy to say ‘just love them’, ‘send them love’. easy to say, easy to aspire to, not always easy to do.....ahh yoga, when i look for you, whether it be in my living room, my heart, or in a studio,,,,i see all these places are both of the world, and of the spirit, not immune to difficult, hurtful situations, not always easily offering me that yoking with divinity. ahh yoga, sometimes you break my heart, yet still yoga, i love you.